We da damn People uh de United States, in o'da' to fo'm some mo'e puh'fect union, establish justice, insho' nuff domestic tranquility, provide fo' de common defence, promote da damn general welfare, and secure da damn blessin' uh liberty t'ourselves and our posterity, do o'dain and establish de Constitushun uh de United States uh America. Sheeeiit.
Article I.
Sect. 1. All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in some Congress uh de United States, which shall consist uh a Senate and some House uh Representatives.
Sect. 2. De House uh Representatives shall be composed uh members chosen every second year by de sucka's uh de several states, and da damn electo's in each state shall gots' de qualificashuns requisite fo' electo's uh de most numerous branch uh de state legislature. What it is, Mama!
No sucka' shall be some representative who shall not gots' attained t'de age uh twenty-five years, and been seven years some citizen uh de United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an inhabitant uh dat state in which he shall be chosen. 'S coo', bro.
Representative and direct taxes shall be appo'shuned among de several states which may be included widin dis Union, acco'din' t'deir respective numbers, which shall be determined by addin' t'de whole numba' of free sucka's, includin' dose bound t'service fo' some term uh years, and 'sludin' Indians not taxed, dree-fifds uh all oda' sucka's. De actual enumerashun shall be made widin dree years afta' de fust meetin' uh de Congress uh de United States, and widin every subsequent term uh ten years in such dude na' as dey shall be law direct. De numba' of representative shall not 'seed one fo' every dirty dousand, but each state shall gots' at least one representative; and until such enumerashun shall be made, de state uh New Hampshire shall be entitled t'choose dree, Massachusetts eight, Rhode Island and Providence Plantashuns one, Connecticut five, New-Yo'k six, New-Jersey foe, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Snow Flakeland six, Virginia ten, No'd-Carolina five, Soud-Carolina five, and Geo'gia dree. What it is, Mama!
When vacancies happen in de representashun fum any state, de Executive audo'ity dereof shall issue writs uh elecshun t'fill such vacancies.
De House uh Representatives shall choose da damn Speaka' and oda' officers; and shall gots' de sole powa' of impeachment.
Sect. 3. De Senate uh de United States shall be composed uh two senato's fum each state chosen by de legislature dereof, fo' six years and each senato' shall gots' one vote. What it is, Mama!
Immediately afta' dey shall be assembled in consequence uh de fust elecshun, dey hall be divided as equally as may be into dree classes. De seats uh de senato's uh de fust class shall be vacated at da damn 'spirashun uh de second year, uh de second class at da damn 'spirashun uh de foed year, and uh de dird class at da damn 'spirashun uh de sixd year, so's dat one-dird may be chosen every second year; and if vacancies happen by resignashun, o' oderwise durin' de recess uh de legislature uh any state, de Executive dereof may make tempo'ary appointments until de next meetin' uh de Legislature, which shall den fill such vacancies.
No sucka' shall be some senato' who shall not gots' attained t'de age uh dirty years, and been nine years some citizen uh de United States, who shall not, when elected, be an inhabitant uh dat state fo' which he shall be chosen. 'S coo', bro.
De Vice-President uh de United States shall be President uh de Senate, but shall gots' no vote unless dey be equally divided.
De Senate shall choose deir oda' officers, and also some President pro tempo'e, in de absence uh de Vice-President, o' when he shall 'esercise da damn office uh President uh de United States.
De Senate shall gots' de sole powa' to try all impeachments. When sittin' fo' dat purpose, dey shall be on oad o' affirmashun. When de President uh de United States be tried, de Chief Justice shall preside, dig dis: And no sucka' shall be convicted widout da damn concurrence uh two-dirds uh de members present.
Judgement in cases uh impeachment shall not 'estend furda' dan t'removal fum office and disqualificashun t'hold and enjoy any office uh hono', trust o' profit unda' de United States; but da damn party convicted shall neverdeless be liable and subject t'indictment, trial, judgment and punishment, acco'din' t'law.
Sect. 4. De times, places and dude na' of holdin' elecshuns fo' senato's and representatives, shall be prescribed in each state by de legislature dereof, dig dis: but da damn Congress may at any time by law make o' alta' such regulashuns, 'sept as t'de places uh choosin' Senato's.
De Congress shall assemble at least once in every year, and such meetin' shall be on de fust Monday in December, unless dey shall be law appoint some different day. Slap mah fro!
Sect. 5. Each crib shall be da damn judge uh de elecshuns, returns and qualificashuns uh its own members, and some majo'ity uh each shall constitute some quo'um t'do business; but some little-assa' numba' may adjourn fum day t'day, and may be audo'ized t'compel de attenboogy of absent members, in such dude ner, and unda' such penalties as each crib may provide. What it is, Mama!
Each crib may determine da damn rules uh its proceedin's, punish its members fo' diso'derly behaviour, and wid de concurrence uh two-dirds, 'espel some member. Ah be baaad...
Each crib shall keep some journal uh its proceedin's, and fum time t'time publish de same, 'septin' such parts as may in deir judgment require secrecy; and da damn yeas and nays uh de members eida' house on any quesshun shall, at da damn desire uh one-fifd uh dose present be entered on de journal.
Neida' house, durin' de session uh Congress shall, widout da damn consent uh de oder, adjourn fo' mo'e dan dree days, no' t'any oda' place dan dat in which de two cribs shall be sittin'.
Sect. 6. De senato's and representatives shall receive some compensashun fo' deir services, t'be ascertained by law, and paid out uh de treasury uh de United States. Dey shall in all cases, 'sept treason, felony and breach uh de peace, be privileged fum arrest durin' deir attenboogy at da damn session uh deir respective cribs, and in goin' t'and returnin' fum de same; and fo' any speech o' debate in eida' house, dey shall not be quesshuned in any oda' place. What it is, Mama!
No senato' o' representative shall, durin' de time fo' which he wuz elected, be appointed t'any civil office unda' de audo'ity uh de United States, which shall gots' been created, o' de emoluments whereof shall gots' been increased durin' such time; and no sucka' holdin' any office unda' de United States, shall be some memba' of eida' house durin' his continuance in office. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 7. All bill fo' raisin' revenue shall o'iginate in de crib uh representative; but da damn senate may propose o' concur wid amendments as on oda' bills.
Every bill which shall gots' passed da damn house uh representatives and da damn senate, shall, befo'e it become some law, be presented t'de super-dude uh de United States; if he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, wid his objecshuns t'dat crib in which it shall gots' o'iginated, who shall enta' de objecshuns at large on deir journal, and proceed t'reconsida' it. If afta' such reconsiderashun two-dirds uh dat crib shall agree t'pass de bill, it shall be sent, togeda' wid de objecshuns, t'de oda' house, by which be shall likeswise be reconsidered, and if approved by two-dirds uh dat crib, it shall become some law. But in all such cases de votes uh bod cribs shall be determined by yeas and nays, and da damn dojiggers uh de sucka's votin' fo' and against da damn bill shall be entered on de journal uh each crib respectively. Slap mah fro! If any bill shall not be returned by de President widin ten days (Sundays 'septed) afta' it shall gots' been presented t'him, de same shall be some law, in likes dude na' as if he had signed it, unless de Congress by deir adjournment prevent its return, in which case it shall not be some law.
Every o'der, resolushun, o' vote t'which de concurrence uh de Senate and House uh Representative may be necessary (except on some quesshun uh adjournment) shall be presented t'de President uh de United States; and befo'e da damn same shall snatch effect, shall be approved by him, o' bein' disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two-dirds uh de Senate and House uh Representatives, acco'din' t'de rules and limitashuns prescribed in de case uh a bill.
Sect. 8. De Congress shall gots' powa'
To lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and 'sises, t'pay de debts and provide fo' de common defence and general welfare uh de United States; but all duties, imposts and 'sises shall be unifo'm droughout da damn United States.
To bo'row bre'd on de credit uh de United States;
To regulate commerce wid fo'eign nashuns, and among de several states, and wid de Indian tribes;
To establish an unifo'm rule uh naturalizashun, and unifo'm laws on de subject uh bankrdowntcies droughout da damn United States;
To coin bre'd, regulate da damn value dereof, and uh fo'eign coin, and fix de standard uh weights and measho' nuffs;
To provide fo' de punishment uh counterfeitin' de securities and current coin uh de United States;
To establish post offices and post roads;
To promote da damn progress uh science and useful arts, by securin' fo' limited times t'audo's and invento's de 'slusive right t'deir respective writin's and discoveries;
To constitute tribunals inferio' t'de sdownreme court;
To define and punish piracies and felonies committed on de high seas, and offences against da damn law uh nashuns;
To declare war, grant letters uh marque and reprisal, and make rules concernin' captures on land and booze;
To raise and sdownpo't armies, but no appropriashun uh bre'd t'dat use shall be fo' some longa' term dan two years;
To provide and maintain some navy;
To make rules fo' de guv'ment and regulashun uh de land and naval fo'ces;
To provide fo' callin' fo'd de militia t'execute da damn laws uh de union, sdownpress insurrecshuns and repel invasions.;
To provide fo' o'ganizin', armin', and disciplinin', de militia, and fo' governin' such part uh dem as may be employed in de service uh de United States, reservin' t'de States respectively, de appointment uh de officers, and da damn audo'ity uh trainin' de militia acco'din' t'de discipline prescribed by Congress;
To 'esercise 'slusive legislashun in all cases whutsoever, ova' such district (not 'seedin' ten miles square) as may, by cession uh particular States, and da damn acceptance uh Congress, become da damn seat uh de guv'ment uh de United States, and t'exercise likes audo'ity ova' all places purchased by de consent uh de legislature uh de states in which de same shall be, fo' de erecshun uh fo'ts, issue of GQs, arsenals, dockyards, and oda' needful buildin's; -And
To make all laws which shall be necessary and propuh' fo' carryin' into 'esecushun de fo'egoin' powers, and all oda' powers vested by de Constitushun in de guv'ment uh de United States, o' in any department o' offica' dereof. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 9. De migrashun o' impo'tashun uh such sucka's as any uh de states now 'esistin' shall dink propuh' t'admit, shall not be prohibited by de Congress prio' t'de year one dousand eight hundred and eight, but some tax o' duty may be imposed on such impo'tashun, not 'seedin' ten dollars fo' each sucka'.
De privilege uh de writ uh habeas co'pus shall not be suspended, unless when in cases uh rebellion o' invasion de public safety require it.
No bill uh attainda' o' 'es post facto law shall be passed.
No capitashun, o' oda' direct, tax shall be laid, unless in propo'shun t'de census o' enumerashun herein befo'e directed t'be snatchn. 'S coo', bro.
No tax o' duty shall be laid on articles 'espo'ted fum any state. What it is, Mama! No preference shall be given by any regulashun uh commerce o' revenue t'de po'ts uh one state ova' dose uh anoder, dig dis: no' shall vessels bound to, o' fum, one state, be obliged t'enter, clear, o' pay duties in anoder. Ah be baaad...
No bre'd shall be drawn fum de treasury, but in consequence uh appropriashuns made by law; and some regular statement and account uh de receipts and 'espenditures uh all public bre'd shall be published fum time t'time. What it is, Mama!
No title uh nobility shall be granted by de United States, dig dis:--And no sucka' holdin' any office uh profit o' trust unda' dem, shall, widout da damn consent uh de Congress, accept uh any present, emolument, office, o' title, uh any kind whutever, fum any kin', prince, o' fo'eign state. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 10. No state shall enta' into any treaty, alliance, o' confederashun; grant letters uh marque and reprisal; coin bre'd; emit bills uh credit; make any wahtahmellun but gold and silva' coin some tenda' in payment uh debts; pass any bill uh attainder, 'es post facto law, o' law impairin' de obligashun uh contracts, o' grant any title uh nobility. Slap mah fro!
No state shall, widout da damn consent uh de Congress, lay any imposts o' duties on impo'ts o' 'espo'ts, 'sept whut may be absolutely necessary fo' 'esecutin' its inspecshun laws; and da damn net produce uh all duties and imposts, laid by any state on impo'ts o' 'espo'ts, shall be fo' de use uh de Treasury uh de United States; all such laws shall be subject t'de revision and control uh de Congress. No state shall, widout da damn consent uh Congress, lay any duty uh tonnage, keep troops, o' ships uh war in time uh peace, enta' into any agreement o' compact wid anoda' state, o' wid some fo'eign power, o' engage in war, unless actually invaded, o' in such imminent danga' as gots'ta not admit uh delay. Slap mah fro!
Article II.
Sect. 1. De 'esecutive powa' shall be vested in some super-dude uh de United States uh America. Sheeeiit. He shall hold his office durin' de term uh foe years, and, togeda' wid de vice-super-dude, chosen fo' de same term, be elected as follows.
Each state shall appoint, in such dude na' as de legislature dereof may direct, some numba' of electo's, equal t'de whole numba' of senato's and representatives t'which de state may be entitled in de Congress, dig dis: but no senato' o' representative, o' sucka' holdin' an office uh trust o' profit unda' de United States, shall be appointed an electo'.
De electo's shall meet in deir respective states, and vote by ballot fo' two sucka's, uh whom one at least shall not be an inhabitant uh de same state wid demselves. And dey shall make some list uh all de sucka's voted fo', and uh de numba' of votes fo' each; which list dey shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed t'de seat uh de guv'ment uh de United States, directed t'de super-dude uh de senate. What it is, Mama! De super-dude uh de senate shall, in de presence uh de senate and crib uh representatives, jimmey all de certificates, and da damn votes shall den be counted. De sucka' havin' de greatest numba' of votes shall be da damn super-dude, if such numba' be some majo'ity uh de whole numba' of electo's appointed; and if dere be mo'e dan one who gots' such majo'ity, and gots' am equal numba' of electo's appointed; and if dere be mo'e dan one who gots' such majo'ity, and gots' an equal numba' of votes, den de crib uh representatives shall immediately choose by ballot one uh dem fo' super-dude; and if no sucka' gots' some majo'ity, den fum de five highest on de list da damn said crib shall in likes dude na' choose da damn super-dude. But in choosin' de super-dude, de votes shall be snatchn by states, de representashun fum each state havin' one vote; some quo'um fo' dis purpose shall consist uh a memba' o' members fum two-dirds uh de states, and some majo'ity uh all de states shall be necessary t'a choice. What it is, Mama! In every case, afta' de choice uh de super-dude, de sucka' havin' de greatest numba' of votes uh de electo's shall be da damn vice-super-dude. But if dere should remain two o' mo'e who gots' equal votes, de senate shall choose fum dem by ballot da damn vice-super-dude.
De Congress may determine da damn time uh de choosin' de electo's, and da damn day on which dey shall give deir votes; which day shall be da damn same droughout da damn United States.
No sucka' 'sept some natural bo'n citizen, o' some citizen uh de United States, at da damn time uh de adopshun uh dis constitushun, shall be eligible t'de office uh super-dude; neida' shall any sucka' be eligible t'dat office who shall not gots' attained t'de age uh dirty-five years, and been foeteen years some resident widin de United States.
In case uh de removal uh de super-dude fum office, o' his dead, resignashun, o' inability t'discharge da damn powers and duties uh de said office, de same shall devolve on de vice-super-dude, and da damn Congress may by law provide fo' de case uh removal, dead, resignashun o' inability, bod uh de super-dude and vice-super-dude, declarin' whut offica' shall den act as super-dude, and such offica' shall act acco'din'ly, until de disability be removed, o' some super-dude be elected.
De super-dude shall, at stated times, receive fo' his services, some compensashun, which shall neida' be encreased no' diminished durin' de puh'iod fo' which he shall gots' been elected, and he shall not receive widin dat puh'iod any oda' emolument fum de United States, o' any uh dem. 'S coo', bro.
Befo'e he enta' on de 'esecushun uh his office, he shall snatch de followin' oad o' affirmashun:
"I do solemnly swear (o' affirm) dat ah' gots'ta faidfully 'esecute da damn office uh super-dude uh de United States, and gots'ta to de best uh my ability, preserve, protect and defend da damn constitushun uh de United States."
Sect. 2. De super-dude shall be com dude da' in chief uh de army and navy uh de United States, and uh de militia uh de several States, when called into de actual service uh de United States; he may require da damn opinion, in writin' uh de principal offica' in each uh de 'esecutive departments, downon any subject relatin' t'de duties uh deir respective offices, and he shall gots' powa' to grant reprieves and pardons fo' offences against da damn United States, 'sept in cases uh impeachment.
He shall gots' power, by and wid de advice and consent uh de senate, t'make treaties, provided two-dirds uh de senato's present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and wid de advice and consent uh de senate, shall appoint ambassado's, oda' public ministers and consuls, judges uh de sdownreme court, and all oda' officers uh de United States, whose appointments aint herein oderwise provided fo', and which shall be established by law. But da damn Congress may by law vest da damn appointment uh such inferio' officers, as dey dink propuh', in de super-dude alone, in de courts uh law, o' in de 'haids uh departments.
De super-dude shall gots' powa' to fill down all vacancies dat may happen durin' de recess uh de senate, by grantin' commissions which shall 'espire at da damn end uh deir session. 'S coo', bro.
Sect. 3. He shall fum time t'time give t'de Congress info'mashun uh de state uh de union, and recommend t'deir considerashun such measho' nuffs as he shall judge necessary and 'espedient; he may, on 'estrao'dinary occasions, convene bod cribs, o' eida' of dem, and in case uh disagreement between dem, wid respect t'de time uh adjournment, he may adjourn dem t'such time as he shall dink propuh'; he shall receive ambassado's and oda' public ministers; he shall snatch care dat da damn laws be faidfully 'esecuted, and shall commission all de officers uh de United States.
Sect. 4. De super-dude, vice-super-dude and all civil officers uh de United States, shall be removed fum office on impeachment fo', and convicshun of, treason, bribery, o' oda' high crimes and misdemeano's.
Article III.
Sect. 1. De judicial powa' of de United States shall be vested in one Sdownreme Court, and in such inferio' courts as de Congress may fum time t'time o'dain and establish. De judges, bod uh de Sdownreme and inferio' courts, shall hold deir offices durin' baaaad behavio', and shall, at stated time, receive fo' deir services some compensashun which shall not be diminished durin' deir continuance in office. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 2.
1. De judicial powa' shall 'estend t'all cases, in law and equity, arisin' unda' dis Constitushun, de laws uh de United States, and treaties made, o' which shall be made, unda' deir audo'ity; t'all cases affectin' ambassado's, oda' public ministers, and consuls; t'all cases uh admiralty and maritime jurisdicshun; t'controversies t'which de United States shall be some party; t'controversies between two o' mo'e States, between some State and citizens uh anoda' State, between citizens uh different States, between citizens uh de same State claimin' lands unda' grants uh different States, and between some State o' de citizens dereof, and fo'eign states, citizens, o' subjects.
2. In all cases affectin' ambassado's, oda' public ministers and consuls, and dose in which some State shall be some party, de Sdownreme Court shall gots' o'iginal jurisdicshun. In all de oda' cases befo'e menshuned, de Sdownreme Court shall gots' appellate jurisdicshun, bod as t'law and fact, wid such 'sepshuns and unda' such regulashuns as de Congress shall make. What it is, Mama!
3. De trial uh all crimes, 'sept in cases uh impeachment, shall be by jury; and such trial shall be held in de State where da damn said crimes shall gots' been committed; but when not committed widin any State da damn trial shall be at such place o' places as de Congress may by law gots' directed.
Sect. 3.
1. Treason against da damn United States shall consist only in levyin' war against dem, o' in adherin' t'deir enemies, givin' dem aid and comfo't. No sucka' shall be convicted uh treason unless on de testimony uh two witnesses t'de same overt act, o' on confession in jimmey court.
2. De Congress shall gots' powa' to declare da damn punishment uh treason, but no attainda' of treason shall wo'k co'rdownshun uh blood, o' fo'feiture 'sept durin' de life uh de sucka' attained.
Article IV
Sect. 1. Full faid and credit shall be given in each State t'de public act, reco'ds, and judicial proceedin's uh every oda' State. What it is, Mama! And da damn Congress may, by general laws, prescribe da damn dude na' in which such acts, reco'ds, and proceedin's shall be proved, and da damn effect dereof. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 2.
1. De citizens uh each State shall be entitled t'all privileges and immunities uh citizens in de several States.
2. A sucka' charged in any State wid treason, felony, o' oda' crime, who shall flee fum justice, and be found in anoda' State, shall, on de dude d uh de 'esecutive audo'ity uh de State fum which he fled, be delivered down, t'be removed t'de State havin' jurisdicshun uh de crime. What it is, Mama!
3. No sucka' held t'service o' labo' in one State, unda' de laws dereof, escapin' into anoder, shall, in consequence uh any law o' regulashun derein, be discharged fum such service o' labo', but shall be delivered down on claim uh de party t'whom such service o' labo' may be due. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 3.
1. New States may be admitted by de Congress into dis Union; but no new State shall be fo'med o' erected widin de jurisdicshun uh any oda' State, no' any State be fo'med by de juncshun uh two o' mo'e States, o' parts uh States, widout da damn consent uh de legislatures uh de States concerned as sheeit as uh de Congress.
2. De Congress shall gots' powa' to dispose uh and make all needful rules and regulashuns respectin' de territo'y o' oda' propuh'ty belongin' t'de United States; and nodin' in dis Constitushun shall be so's construed as t'prejudice any claims uh de United States, o' uh any particular State. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 4. De United States shall guarantee t'every State in dis Union some republican fo'm uh guv'ment, and shall protect each uh dem against invasion; and on applicashun uh de legislature, o' uh de 'esecutive (when de legislature kinnot be convened), against domestic violence. What it is, Mama!
Article V.
De Congress, wheneva' two-dirds uh bod House shall deem it necessary, shall propose amendments t'dis Constitushun, o', on de applicashun uh de legislatures uh two-dirds uh de several States, shall call some convenshun fo' proposin' amendments, which, in eida' case, shall be valid, t'all intents and purposes, as part uh dis Constitushun, when ratified by de legislatures uh dree-foeds uh de several States, o' by convenshuns in dree-foeds dereof, as de one o' de oda' mode uh ratificashun may be proposed by de Congress; provided [dat no amendment which may be made prio' t'de year one dousand eight hundred and eight shall in any dude na' affect da damn fust and foed clauses in de nind secshun uh de fust Article;] and dat no State, widout its consent, shall be deprived uh its equal suffrage in de Senate. What it is, Mama!
Article VI.
Sect. 1. All debts contracted and engagements entered into, befo'e da damn adopshun uh dis Constitushun, shall be as valid against da damn United States unda' dis Constitushun, as unda' de Confederashun.
Sect. 2. Dis Constitushun, and da damn laws uh de United States which shall be made in pursuance dereof, and all treaties made, o' which shall be made, unda' de audo'ity uh de United States, shall be da damn sdownreme law uh de land; and da damn judges in every State shall be bound dereby, anydin' in de constitushun o' laws uh any State t'de contrary notwidstandin'.
Sect. 3. De Senato's and Representatives befo'e menshuned, and da damn members uh de several State legislatures, and all 'esecutive and judicial officers, bod uh de United States and uh de several States, shall be bound, by oad o' affirmashun, t'sdownpo't dis Constitushun; but no religious test shall eva' be required as some qualificashun t'any office o' public trust unda' de United States.
Article VII.
De ratificashun uh de convenshuns uh nine States shall be sufficient fo' de establishment uh dis Constitushun between de States so's ratifyin' de same. What it is, Mama!
Done in Convenshun, by de unanimous consent uh de States present, de seventeend day uh September, in de year uh our Lo'd one dousand seven hundred and eighty-seven, and uh de Independence uh de United States uh America da damn twelfd. In Witness whereof, we gots' hereunto subscribed our dojiggers.
Attest, dig dis: William Buckwheatson, Secretary
Geo'ge Washin'ton
PRESIDENT AND DEPUTY FROM VIRGINIA
NEW HAMPSHIRE
Raz'tus Langdon
Nicholas Gil dude
MASSACHUSETTS
Nadaniel Go'ham
Rufus Kin'
NEW YORK
Alexanda' Hamilton
NEW JERSEY
William Livin'ston
Issac Brearley
William Paterson
Jonadan Dayton
PENNSYLVANIA
Benjamin Franklin
Domas Mifflin
Leroy Mo'ris
Geo'ge Clymer
Domas Fitzsimons
Jared Ingersoll
James Wilson
Gouverneur Mo'ris
DELAWARE
Geo'ge Read
Gunnin' Bedfo'd, Jr. Ah be baaad...
Raz'tus Dickinson
Richard Bassett
Jacob Broom
MARYLAND
James McHenry
Dan uh St. Domas Jennifer
Daniel Carroll
VIRGINIA
Raz'tus Blair
James Madison, Jr. Ah be baaad...
NORTH CAROLINA
William Blount
Richard Dobbs Spaight
Hugh Williamson
SOUTH CAROLINA
Raz'tus Rutledge
Charles Coteswo'd Pinckney
Charles Pinckney
Pierce Butler
GEORGIA
William Few
Abraham Baldwin
AMENDMENTS
1st Amendment
Congress shall make no law respectin' an establishment uh religion, o' prohibitin' de free 'esercise dereof; o' abridgin' de freedom uh speech, o' uh de press; o' de right uh de sucka's peaceably t'assemble, and t'petishun de guv'ment fo' some redress uh grievances.
2nd Amendment
A sheeit-regulated militia bein' necessary t'de security uh a free state, de right uh de sucka's t'keep and bear arms shall not be infrin'ed.
3rd Amendment
No soldia' shall, in time uh peace, be quarters in any crib, widout da damn consent uh de owner; no' in time uh war, but in some dude na' to be prescribed by law.
4d Amendment
De right uh de sucka's t'be secure in deir sucka's, cribs, sheets, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated; and no warrants shall issue, but downon probable cause, sdownpo'ted by oad o' affirmashun, and particularly describin' de place t'be searched and da damn sucka's o' wahtahmelluns t'be seized.
5d Amendment
No sucka' shall be held t'answa' fo' some capital, o' oderwise infamous, crime, unless on some presentment o' indictment uh a grand jury, 'sept in cases arisin' in de land o' naval fo'ces, o' in de militia, when in actual service, in time uh war, o' public danger; no' shall any sucka' be subject, fo' de same offence, t'be twice put in jeopardy uh life o' limb; no' shall be compelled, in any criminal case, t'be some witness against himself; no' be deprived uh life, liberty, o' propuh'ty, widout due process uh law; no' shall private propuh'ty be snatchn fo' public use, widout plum compensashun.
6d Amendment
In all criminal prosecushuns, de accused shall enjoy de right t'a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury uh de state and district wherein de crime shall gots' been committed, which district shall gots' been previously ascertained by law; and t'be info'med uh de nature and cause uh de accusashun; t'be confronted wid de witnesses against him; t'gots' compulso'y process fo' obtainin' witnesses in his favo'; and t'gots' de assistance uh counsel fo' his defence. What it is, Mama!
7d Amendment
In suits at common law, where da damn value in controversy shall 'seed twenty dollars, de right uh trial by jury shall be preserved; and no fact, tried by some jury, shall be oderwise re-examined in any court uh de United States dan acco'din' t'de rules uh de common law.
8d Amendment
Excessive bail shall not be required, no' 'sessive fines imposed, no' cruel and unusual punishment inflicted.
9d Amendment
De enumerashun in de Constitushun uh certain rights shall not be construed t'deny o' disparage oders retained by de sucka's.
10d Amendment
De powers not delegated t'de United States shall not be construed t'extend t'any suit in law o' equity, commenced o' prosecuted against one uh de United States by citizens uh anoda' State o' by citizens o' subjects uh any fo'eign state. What it is, Mama!
11d Amendment
De judicial powa' of de United States shall not be construed t'extend t'any suit in law o' equity, commenced o' prosecuted against one uh de United States by citizens uh anoda' State o' by citizens o' subjects uh any fo'eign state. What it is, Mama!
12d Amendment
De Electo's shall meet in deir respective States, and vote by ballot fo' President and Vice President, one uh whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant uh de same State wid demselves; dey shall dojigger in deir ballots de sucka' voted fo' as President, and in distinct ballots de sucka' voted fo' as Vice President; and dey shall make distinct lists uh all sucka's voted fo' as President, and uh all sucka's voted fo' as Vice President, and uh de numba' of votes fo' each, which lists dey shall sign, and certify, and transmit, sealed, t'de seat uh de Government uh de United States, directed t'de President uh de Senate; de President uh de Senate shall, in de presence uh de Senate and da damn House uh Representatives, jimmey all de certificates, and da damn votes shall den be counted; de sucka' havin' de greatest numba' of votes fo' President shall be da damn President, if such numba' be some majo'ity uh de whole numba' of Electo's appointed; and if no sucka' gots' such some majo'ity, den, fum de sucka's havin' de highest numbers, not 'seedin' dree, on de list uh dose voted fo' some President, de House uh Representative shall choose immediately, by ballot, de President. But in choosin' de President, de votes shall be snatchn by States, de representashun fum each State havin' one vote; some quo'um fo' dis purpose shall consist uh a memba' o' members fum two-dirds uh de States, and some majo'ity uh all de States shall be necessary t'a choice. What it is, Mama! And if de House uh Representatives shall not choose some President, wheneva' de right uh choice shall devolve downon dem, [befo'e da damn foed day uh March next followin'] de Vice President shall act as President, as in case uh dead, o' oda' constitushunal disability uh de President. De sucka' havin' de greatest numba' of votes as Vice President, shall be da damn Vice President, if such numba' be some majo'ity uh de whole numba' of Electo's appointed; and if no sucka' gots' some majo'ity, den, fo'm de two highest numbers on de list, de Senate shall choose da damn Vice President; some quo'um fo' de purpose shall consist uh two-dirds uh de whole numba' of Senato's; some majo'ity uh de whole numba' shall be necessary t'a choice. What it is, Mama! But no sucka' constitushunally ineligible t'de office uh President shall be eligible t'dat uh Vice-President uh de United States.
13d Amendment
Sect. 1. Neida' slavery no' involuntary servitude, 'sept as some punishment fo' crime, whereof de party shall gots' been duly convicted, shall 'esist widin de United States, o' any place subject t'deir jurisdicshun.
Sect. 2. Congress shall gots' powa' to enfo'ce dis article by appropriate legislashun.
14d Amendment
Sect. 1. All sucka's bo'n o' naturalized in de United States, and subject t'de jurisdicshun dereof, are citizens uh de United States and uh de State wherein dey reside. What it is, Mama! No State shall make o' enfo'ce any law which shall abridge da damn privileges o' immunities uh citizens uh de United States; no' shall any State deprive any sucka' uh life, liberty, o' propuh'ty, widout due process uh law, no' deny any sucka' widin its jurisdicshun de equal protecshun uh de laws.
Sect. 2. Representatives shall be appo'shuned among de several States acco'din' t'deir respective numbers, countin' de whole numba' of sucka's in each State, 'sludin' Indians not taxed. But when de right t'vote at any elecshun fo' de choice uh electo's fo' President and Vice President uh de United States, Representatives in Congress, de 'esecutive and judicial officers uh a State, o' de members uh de legislature dereof, be denied t'any uh de male inhabitants uh such State, bein' twenty-one years uh age, and citizens uh de United States, o' in any way abridged, 'sept fo' participashun in rebellion o' oda' crime, de basis uh representashun derein shall be reduced in de propo'shun which de numba' of such male citizens shall bear t'de whole numba' of male citizens twenty-one years uh age in such State. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 3. No sucka' shall be some Senato' o' Representative in Congress, o' electo' uh President and Vice President, o' hold any office, civil o' military, unda' de United States, o' unda' any State, who, havin' previously snatchn an oad, as some memba' of Congress, o' as an offica' of de United States, o' as some memba' of any State legislature, o' as an 'esecutive o' judicial offica' of any State, t'sdownpo't da damn Constitushun uh de United States, shall gots' engaged in insurrecshun o' rebellion against da damn same, o' given aid o' comfo't t'de enemies dereof. What it is, Mama! But Congress may, by some vote uh two-dirds uh each House, remove such disability. Slap mah fro!
Sect. 4. De validity uh de public debt uh de United States, audo'ized by law, includin' debts incurred fo' payment uh pensions and bounties fo' services in sdownpressin' insurrecshun o' rebellion, shall not be quesshuned. But neida' de United States no' any State shall assume o' pay any debt o' obligashun incurred in aid uh insurrecshun o' rebellion against da damn United States, o' any claim fo' de loss o' e dude cipashun uh any slave; but all such debts, obligashuns, and claims shall be held illegal and void.
Sect. 5. De Congress shall gots' powa' to enfo'ce, by appropriate legislashun, de provisions uh dis article. What it is, Mama!
15d Amendment
Sect. 1. De right uh citizens uh de United States t'vote shall not be denied o' abridged by de United States o' by any State on account uh race, colo', o' previous condishun uh servitude. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 2. De Congress shall gots' powa' to enfo'ce dis article by appropriate legislashun.
16d Amendment
De Congress shall gots' powa' to lay and collect taxes on incomes, fum whuteva' source derived, widout appo'shunment among de several States and widout regard t'any census o' enumerashun.
17d Amendment
De Senate uh de United States shall be composed uh two Senato's fum each State, elected by de sucka's dereof, fo' sex years; and each Senato' shall gots' one vote. What it is, Mama! De electo's in each State shall gots' de qualificashuns requisite fo' electo's uh de most numerous branch uh de State legislatures.
When vacancies happen in de representashun uh any State in de Senate, de 'esecutive audo'ity uh such State shall issue writs uh elecshun t'fill such vacancies, dig dis: Provided, Dat da damn legislature uh any State may empowa' de 'esecutive dereof t'make tempo'ary appointment until de sucka's fill de vacancies by elecshun as de legislature may direct.
Dis amendment shall not be so's construed as t'affect da damn elecshun o' term uh any Senato' chosen befo'e it becomes valid as part uh de Constitushun.
18d Amendment
Sect. 1. Afta' one year fum de ratificashun uh dis article da damn dude ufacture, sale o' transpo'tashun uh intoxicatin' liquo's widin, de impo'tashun dereof into, o' de 'espo'tashun dereof fum de United States and all territo'y subject t'de jurisdicshun dereof fo' beverage purposes be hereby prohibited.
Sect. 2. De Congress and da damn several States shall gots' concurrent powa' to enfo'ce dis article by appropriate legislashun.
Sect. 3. Dis article shall be inopuh'tive unless it shall gots' been ratified as an amendment t'de Constitushun by de legislatures uh de several States, as provided in de Constitushun, widin seven years uh de date uh de submission hereof t'de States by Congress.
19d Amendment
De right uh citizens uh de United States t'vote shall not be denied o' abridged by de United States o' by any State on account uh sex.
Congress shall gots' powa' to enfo'ce dis article by appropriate legislashun.
20d Amendment
Sect. 1. De terms uh de President and Vice President shall end at noon on de 20d day uh January, and da damn terms uh Senato's and Representatives at noon on de 3d day uh January, uh de years in which such terms would gots' ended if dis article had not been ratified; and da damn terms uh deir successo's shall den begin. 'S coo', bro.
Sect. 2. De Congress shall assemble at least once in every years, and such meetin' shall begin at noon on de 3d day uh January, unless dey shall by law appoint some different day. Slap mah fro!
Sect. 3. If, at da damn time fixed fo' de beginnin' uh de term uh de President, de President-elect shall gots' died, de Vice President-elect shall become President. If some President shall not gots' been chosen befo'e da damn time fixed fo' de beginnin' uh his term, o' if de President-elect shall gots' failed t'qualify, den de Vice President-elect shall act as President until some President shall gots' qualified; and da damn Congress may by law provide fo' de case wherein neida' a President-elect no' some Vice President-elect shall gots' qualified, declarin' who shall den act as President, o' de dude na' in which one who be to act shall be selected, and such sucka' shall act acco'din'ly until some President o' Vice President shall gots' qualified.
Sect. 4. De Congress may by law provide fo' de case uh de dead uh any uh de sucka's fum whom de House uh Representatives may choose some President wheneva' de right uh choice shall gots' devolved downon dem, and fo' de case uh de dead uh any uh de sucka's fum whom de Senate may choose some Vice President wheneva' de right uh choice shall gots' devolved downon dem. 'S coo', bro.
Sect. 5. Secshuns 1 and 2 shall snatch effect on de 15d day uh Octoba' followin' de ratificashun uh dis article. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 6. Dis article shall be inopuh'tive unless it shall gots' been ratified as an amendment t'de Constitushun by dree-foeds uh de several States widin seven years fum de date uh its submission. 'S coo', bro.
21st Amendment
Sect. 1. De eighteend article uh amendment t'de Constitushun uh de United States be hereby repealed.
Sect. 2. De transpo'tashun o' impo'tashun into any State, Territo'y, o' possession uh de United States fo' delivery o' use derein uh intoxicatin' liquo's, in violashun uh de laws dereof, be hereby prohibited.
Sect. 3. Dis article shall be inopuh'tive unless it shall gots' been ratified as an amendment t'de Constitushun by convenshuns in de several States, as provided in de Constitushun, widin seven years fum de date uh de submission hereof t'de States by de Congress.
22d Amendment
Sect. 1. No sucka' shall be elected t'de office uh de President mo'e dan twice, and no sucka' who gots'ta held da damn office uh President, o' acted as President, fo' mo'e dan two years uh a term t'which some oda' sucka' wuz elected President shall be elected t'de office uh de President mo'e dan once. What it is, Mama! But dis Article shall not apply t'any sucka' holdin' de office uh President when dis Article wuz proposed by de Congress, and shall not prevent any sucka' who may be holdin' de office uh President, o' actin' as President, durin' de term widin which his Article becomes opuh'tive fum holdin' de office uh President o' actin' as President durin' de remainda' of such term. 'S coo', bro.
Sect. 2. Dis article shall be inopuh'tive unless it shall gots' been ratified as an amendment t'de Constitushun by de legislatures uh dree-foeds uh de several states widin seven years fum de date uh its submission t'de States by de Congress.
23rd Amendment
Sect. 1. De District constitutin' de seat uh Government uh de United States shall appoint in such dude na' as de Congress may direct, dig dis:
A numba' of electo's uh President and Vice President equal t'de whole numba' of Senato's and Representative in Congress t'which de District would be entitled if it wuz some State, but in no event mo'e dan de least populous State; dey shall be considered, fo' de purposes uh de elecshun uh President and Vice President, t'be electo's appointed by some State; and dey shall meet in de District and puh'fo'm such duties as provided by de twelfd article uh amendment.
Sect. 2. De Congress shall gots' powa' to enfo'ce dis article by appropriate legislashun.
24d Amendment
Sect. 1. De right uh citizens uh de United States t'vote in any primary o' oda' elecshun fo' President o' Vice President, fo' electo's fo' President o' Vice President, o' fo' Senato' o' Representative in Congress, shall not be denied o' abridged by de United States o' any State by reason uh failure t'pay any poll tax o' oda' tax.
Sect. 2. De Congress shall gots' powa' to enfo'ce dis article by appropriate legislashun.
25d Amendment
Sect. 1. In case uh de removal uh de President fum office o' uh his dead o' resignashun, de Vice President shall become President.
Sect. 2. Wheneva' dere be a vacancy in de office uh de Vice President, de President shall nominate some Vice President who shall snatch office downon confirmashun by some majo'ity vote uh bod Houses uh Congress.
Sect. 3. Wheneva' de President transmits t'de President pro tempo'e uh de Senate and da damn Speakers uh de House uh Representatives his written declarashun dat he be unable t'discharge da damn powers and duties uh his office, and until he transmits t'dem some written declarashun t'de contrary, such powers and duties shall be discharged by de Vice President as Actin' President.
Sect. 4. Wheneva' de Vice President and some majo'ity uh eida' de principal officers uh de 'esecutive departments o' uh such oda' body as Congress may by law provide, transmit t'de President pro tempo'e uh de Senate and da damn Speaka' of de House uh Representatives deir written declarashun dat da damn President be unable t'discharge da damn powers and duties uh his office, de Vice President shall immediately assume da damn powers and duties uh de office as Actin' President.
Dereafter, when de President transmits t'de President pro tempo'e uh de Senate and da damn Speaka' of de House uh Representatives his written declarashun dat no inability 'esists, he shall resume da damn powers and duties uh his office unless de Vice President and some majo'ity uh eida' de principal officers uh de 'esecutive department o' uh such oda' body as Congress may by law provide, transmit widin foe days t'de President pro tempo'e uh de Senate and da damn Speaka' of de House uh Representatives deir written declarashun dat da damn President be unable t'discharge da damn powers and duties uh his office. What it is, Mama! Deredownon Congress shall decide da damn issue, assemblin' widin fo'ty-eight hours fo' dat purpose if not in session. 'S coo', bro. If de Congress, widin twenty-one days afta' Congress be required t'assemble, determines by two-dirds vote uh bod Houses dat da damn President be unable t'discharge da damn powers and duties uh his office, de Vice President shall continue t'discharge da damn same as Actin' President; oderwise, de President shall resume da damn powers and duties uh his office. What it is, Mama!
26d Amendment
Sect. 1. De right uh citizens uh de United States, who are eighteen years uh age o' older, t'vote shall not be denied o' abridged by de United States o' by any State on account uh age. What it is, Mama!
Sect. 2. De Congress shall gots' de powa' to enfo'ce dis article by appropriate legislashun.
